Tips to weaken problematic interactions (2) via externalization

Aim or sub-task           Guiding questions
Name the problem: negotiate an experience-near formulation for the problem How would you call this problem? Lack of control? Melting down? Misbehaviour? Restlessness? Blowing up?…something else? If we had a thermometer measuring temperature from 1 to 100 degrees, where 100 is the worst because you totally blow up, where would you be right now in the ‘blowing up’ scale?
Explore the negative effects of the problem Does the problem (e.g., ‘blowing up’) make you do things that you don’t like to do, or that you regret afterwards? What does the problem make you do? What else?
Is it a ‘strong’, powerful problem? What makes the problem bigger (or stronger)? If we asked your mom, how can she tell when the thermometer went from 20° to 50°? To 70°? To 90°? How does she do, or how does she respond when you are under the influence of this problem?
Explore unique outcomes (for more details check up on “tips via unique outcome”). Did you ever beat the problem (e.g., the ‘blowing up’)? Did the problem ever complied with you, instead of you complying with it? When was (bearer of problem) able to lower the intensity (or frequency) of the problem? When was (bearer of problem) able to do something with the problem? How did you notice? What was the first thing you noticed? What did you/her do? What did your mom notice? What did she do? What happened on that occasion? What did others say about this?
Fxplore unique outcomes in the future If (unique outcome) happened again in the next few days/weeks, what would happen to the problem? Do you think its influence in your life would increase or decrease? What difference would this make for you? What would be different in your life? What else?

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